Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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