I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Come on in and take your pants off
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
