I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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