Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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