is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
