it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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