yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
