i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
