Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
