No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
