We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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