Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
