she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
