Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You may now shotgun with the bride
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
