Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
