Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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