let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
