I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
