Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
