Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
