Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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