Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
