I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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