i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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