My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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