i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
