M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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