idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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