we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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