I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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