what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
