Sober January is a disaster.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
