Me too!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
ugly people sure do ruin things
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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