i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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