Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I need to stop coming to work sober
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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