Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
