I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the room spins SO much faster in panama
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
