I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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