is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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