I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I understand Curling. That high.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
