I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
