u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize