and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
