hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
