That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
