oh god the rape fog is back!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
