so explain again why im purple
no
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
