Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My underwear smells like fireworks.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
