no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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