the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
