I skipped work to stalk him.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
