Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
