At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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