Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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