I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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