Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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