Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
